Sunday, August 10, 2008

This Crazy WORLD #6

Okay, I've posted only serious stuff for two or three weeks, so here's something a little lighter: Highlights from the "Quick Takes" section of the July 26/August 2 issue of WORLD magazine (Copyright © 2008).

Beer bash

Lynne Rice wanted a six-pack of Budweiser, and no mere car crash was going to stop her from getting it. The 74-year-old crashed her 1988 Cadillac directly into Joe's Food Mart in Norwalk, Calif., on June 29. Police say that after Rice plowed into the front window of the store at about 6 p.m., she went to the beer cooler, picked out a six-pack of Bud, and walked it over to the counter. The store attendant alleges she tried to push him when he wouldn't sell her the suds. Instead the clerk phoned police, who arrested her on suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol.

I guess she thought the store was a drive-in!

No left turn

High gas prices aren't forcing UPS off the roadways. They're just forcing the company's drivers to the right side of the road. According to executives at the international package delivery service, computer mapping software and traffic modeling has led them to conclude that delivery drivers should avoid making left turns. By mapping out routes that aim for only right-hand turns, the company saved 3.3 million gallons of gasoline in 2007. According to UPS research, drivers waste time and gas idling while waiting for left-hand turn signals. Even with the more circuitous path, the company estimates that it saved more than $9 million in 2007.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but apparently three lefts do!

Texas-sized 'mark'

To fulfill his dream of erecting a pair of 200-foot-tall crosses book-ending the city of Houston, Pastor Steve Riggle of Grace Community Church will have to gain approval from a higher authority: the Federal Aviation Administration. Because of the hazard a 200-foot structure might pose to air traffic, Riggle would need FAA approval to go ahead with his plan. Even if the agency disapproves, the nondenominational megachurch pastor said he would settle for 150-foot crosses that would not require consultation from the FAA. "This will mark our city for God. If this doesn't work, nothing else will work," he told Houston Community Newspapers. Riggle hopes that like immigrants passing by the symbolic Statue of Liberty on their way to Ellis Island, motorists will be similarly moved by huge crosses as they drive into the northern or southern ends of the city.

Would you believe that this church is only about a 5-minute drive from my house? And it turns out that they are indeed going to have to settle for 150-foot cross. And there is another big church right near this one that is also planning to erect a 100-foot cross. So, I'll have two of them right near me (plus one across town).

Maybe Deacon Meletios and I will sneak over there and add two more bars to each cross!

So close, but...

A vehicle fire last month in Lancaster, Pa., could not have happened to a better prepared truck. The Ford F-350 Super Duty box truck owned by Lancaster Safety Technologies had at least eight fire extinguishers on board when a block heater plugged into the vehicle shorted out and caught fire. The extinguishers were unharmed by the fire, but they also went unused, and the blaze caused $25,000 in damage to the truck's cab. "As far as the fire extinguisher truck catching on fire—I thought it was a little ironic," fire official Greg Leaman told the Lancaster Intelligencer Journal.
Why did they go unused? Hmm...

Hearing both sides

Officers responding to a disturbance in Mesa, Ariz., on June 30 must have been confused. Dispatchers sent officers out after receiving a call reporting a domestic dispute involving a man and a woman heatedly arguing with each other. Instead, police found a 21-year-old man alone in his apartment arguing with himself, but changing the pitch of his voice as he broke windows and caused other commotions. Mesa SWAT arrested the man.

I've always said that it's bad enough to argue with yourself, but it's REALLY bad to lose the argument. But this might just take the cake!


Clint said...

About the arguing guy... well, I have no comment...

I just saw the megachurch the other day that is wanting to put up the crosses. They had a big sign out front that stated their intentions. Funny you should post about it.

The pastor's comment about "if this don't work, nothing will" makes me wonder if actually becoming a part of the church that Jesus founded might not also be an option.

Just wondering.

paul said...

Posted by Fr. James Early at 7:56 AM

Careful Father James. Father Matthew might start wondering what you are doing in the AM before liturgy. :)

Fr. James Early said...


Don't worry...they won't catch us!


What a radical concept!