Thursday, January 27, 2011

Just for Fun: Altered Words

The Washington Post's  Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the  dictionary, alter it by adding,  subtracting, or changing one  letter, and supply a new definition.  
 
Here are the  winners: 
 
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of  buying a house, which renders the  subject financially impotent for  an indefinite period of time.
 
2. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at  getting a tax refund, which lasts until you  realize it was your  money to start with.
 
3. Reintarnation : Coming back  to life as a  hillbilly.
 
4. Bozone ( n..): The substance  surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The  bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the  near future. 

5.  Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high  
 
6. 
Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic  wit and the person who doesn't get it. 
 7. Inoculatte : To  take coffee intravenously when you are running  late.
 
8.  Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got  extra credit.)
 
9.  Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending  off all these  really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth  explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.  
 
10.  Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting  through the day consuming only things that are good for  you.
 
11. Dopeler  Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter  when they come at you rapidly. 
 
12. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The  frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a  spider web.
 
13.  Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito,  that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast  out.
 
14.  Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding  half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
 
The Washington Post has also published the  winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to  supply alternate meanings for common  words.

And the winners  are:

1.  Coffee, n.. The person upon whom one coughs.  
 
2.  Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much  weight one has gained. 
 
3.. Abdicate, v. To give up all  hope of ever having a flat stomach.
 
4 esplanade, v. To attempt an  explanation while drunk.
 
5..  Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door  when wearing only a nightgown.
 
6. Lymph, v.. To walk with a  lisp.
 
7.  Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored  mouthwash.
 
8.  Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up  someone who has  been run over by a  steamroller.
 
9.  Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding  hairline.
 
10.  Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted  by proctologists. 
 
11. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian  proctologist. 

12.  Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation  with Yiddishisms. 
 
13. Frisbeetarianism, n. The  belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck  there.

2 comments:

Joel said...

Amanagazing--the act of opening the refrigerator and looking intently, hoping there is something there to eat that wasn't there fifteen minutes ago.

Fr. James Early said...

"Sinergy" - the amount of energy required to commit a sin. (Which for most people, me included, is quite low!)